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Prayers
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit
Amen
Posted in Humour at 03:15 |
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Got My New Video Card
My new XFX NVIDIA GeForce 6600GT arrived on Friday! I stuck it in my PC almost immediately, it would've been quicker if it hadn't arrived in a very odd shaped box. Anyway... I fired up my PC and tested out the card, and it works perfectly.
It's so nice to be able to actually play games again. Using a GeForce2 MMX was driving me crazy!!
Posted in Computers at 22:30 |
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Roaming Is Evil
I got a call from Vodafone, my mobile phone network, earlier today. They were confirming that my phone hadn't been stolen since there was some unusual activity on it.
This unusual activity was some large calls that were made abroad... over £550 worth! I was rather shocked by the size of my bill, as you can imagine. My bills are usually around the £30 mark each month. One call was over £300 alone! Made in the US, to Canada, from a UK based mobile. Whoops!!
Vodafone wanted to take a pre-payment immediately so I had to check what my bank balances were, luckily having just enough for what they were asking, and paid them £300 today. The rest will come with my normal bill next month, another 200 quids worth of calls.
*sigh*
I wish I'd never turned the roaming feature on now!!
But I've learned a valuable lesson... mobiles are flipping expensive when you're abroad!!
Posted in Rant at 13:48 |
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Live Strong
Lance Armstrong has just sealed his seventh successive win in the Tour de France. He will now retire, at the top of his game. Just incredible really.
Posted in Life at 16:47 |
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Rectal Exams
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing a rectal exam:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
Posted in Humour at 12:01 |
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A Few Tributes
I was at King's Cross last Saturday and took a couple photos of the floral garden where people had left tributes and commemorations to those that had died in the 7/7 bombings.
Posted in Life at 22:49 |
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More Attacks On London
3 minor explosions at 3 tube stations, and a bus has had its windows blown out in Hackney. The stations involved are Oval, Shepherd's Bush and Warren Street where I was this morning!
All the explosions involved only detonators, and they went off around 13:11.
Only one injury is reported so far.
UPDATES: Latest from the BBC...
The attempted bombings in London were designed to kill people, the head of the Metropolitan Police has said.But Sir Ian Blair said evidence left at the scenes could be very helpful to police and added "the intention of the terrorists has failed".
It is believed devices only partially exploded at four locations, three at Tube stations and one on a bus.
BBC security correspondent Mark Urban said initial indications were that the devices were put together in a way very similar to those used two weeks ago.He said there were suggestions that the rucksacks themselves, as well as the choice of three tube trains and one bus as targets, all suggested a similar method of attacks.
There was also speculation that the devices were so similar to those used two weeks ago that they may even have been part of the same batch.
Posted in Politics at 14:34 |
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Which Office Space Character Are You?
Posted in Movies/TV at 16:01 |
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DWORD To Your Mother!
<Vagitarian> DWORD to your moms. I came to drop bombs. I've got more rhymes than San Jose's got dotcoms.
<Vagitarian> I rep the Farm like Fifty reps Queens, with more power than multi-tape Turing machines.
<Vagitarian> Blowing up the rap scene faster than factorial functions, I'm dope like PNP transistors and I'll saturate your junctions.
<Vagitarian> By the time you've dropped one line, I've already busted ten. You rap in exponential time and I'm big-O of log n.
Posted in Humour at 13:29 |
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Which Evil Nation State Are You?
Danah posts an amusing article comparing the 3 big search companies (Microsoft, Yahoo!, Google) to countries.
Microsoft is Germany, Yahoo! is Japan and Google is the US.
Also mentioned in the comments are Apple (Netherlands), Sun (France), Verisign (Panama), SCO (North Korea), Ask.com (Australia), Grokster (Cuba), and del.icio.us (Chechnya).
So head over to apophenia and read why each company has been associated with a specific country.
Posted in Humour at 14:19 |
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Men's English
1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage.
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
Posted in Humour at 18:34 |
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50 State Quarters
The US Mint is releasing 50 special quarters over a 10 year period to mark each state's admission to the Union, a new one is released every 10 weeks.
So far they're up to 2005, about halfway through the 50.
When checking through my change when I got to the States 2 weeks ago I realised I already had a few of them, and decided I wanted to collect the set. I managed to get a good selection from Bonita, and collected a few more while I was staying there.
Out of those already released, I only need a couple... and I will update this list as I get my hands on them:
Posted in Life at 17:50 |
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Women's English
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You'd better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Posted in Humour at 01:47 |
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500 Server Errors
I seem to be getting a few errors while posting, and I'm not sure why. There have been a few problems recently due to some dodgy perl modules being automatically installed, but my host hasn't made any updates as far as I can see - they certainly aren't running the latest versions that's for sure.
It's incredibly annoying as it only seems to happen on some of the larger posts, and I was updating a few today.
Hmm...
I ended up with the Subversion post being saved twice, which I've now sorted, and one entry I was updating which keeps giving me 500 errors did actually save and all related files updated but it wasn't able to kick back to the MT interface.
What the hell is going on Fasthosts?
UPDATE: I've disabled the categories to see if that makes any difference, as I think it may be related to timeouts while creating some of the larger files.
Posted in Computers at 11:38 |
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Subversion/Trac
For the past 2 days I've been trying out Subversion. Subversion is an open source version control system, like CVS, but so much better. It runs under many different platforms including *nix, MacOS and even Windows. I have my Subversion server running on Windows 2003.
I have also got Trac (also open source) running on my server, which is a web-based front-end to the versioning system, so you can see the changes and revisions you have made to your project. It also hosts a wiki and ticket system but I won't be using those much. Being able to see the actual diff-erences you've made, on each revision is one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time.
Posted in Computers at 09:36 |
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If God Used A Computer...
In the beginning, there was the computer.
And God said
C:\> Let there be light!
Enter user id.
C:\> God
Enter password.
C:\> Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:\> Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:\> Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:\> Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\> Create light
Done
Posted in Humour at 16:35 |
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Movable Type 3.2 Public Beta
Six Apart released the public beta of MT version 3.2 yesterday.
As mentioned previously, there are over 100 new/improved features including Trackback moderation, global comment and trackback management, administrative control for those with multiple blogs on the same installation, handy spam protection, and many user-interface improvements.
I'm not willing to try out possibly destructive beta software on this blog, in case something does go wrong, so I'm testing it out on another domain till 3.2 reaches Final.
I have also replaced every mention I've made of MovableType with Movable Type, seeing as that's the correct name for the application after all!
Posted in Movable Type at 11:14 |
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Bad English 2
As I wrote back in May, there is some pretty bad English out there.
wookit's been having trouble with her affects and effects, which I can understand, they're not the easiest words to get right some of the time - as proved by the test she linked to yesterday.
My first attempt - 13/16.
So I tried again, and managed full marks 16/16.
So even I am not perfect!
I'm better with my accepts and excepts apparently, scoring 10/10 on my first go.
--
RAVEN: Remember, Affect is a Verb and Effect is a Noun.
This is a really good page: Online Writing Lab: Homophones. Homophones really do cause a lot of confusion to many.
Posted in Rant at 09:35 |
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On The Way Back From Wilmington
While I was staying down in North Carolina, Bonita wanted us all to head down to the beach. So we did. Josh was driving, June was in the passenger seat and Bonnie and I sat squished in the back seat.
Josh has a Mercury Cougar - which has bucket seats in the rear, and my god were they uncomfortable.
Getting to the beach was fine, it was a nice hot day and the sea was very refreshing... getting home again was a problem.
Josh's car broke down!
First all his dials died and dropped to zero, and it started acting rather odd. So he pulled over and grabbed his mini battery charger from his boot. He plugged it onto the battery and after a few minutes we set off again.
About 5 miles later the dials died again, and this time the engine started misfiring and spluttering, so he pulled off to the side and stopped again. There was no starting the car up again this time. It was totally dead. 100 miles from home!!
We waited for around an hour for a tow truck to arrive, it took so long the battery totally drained and the hazard lights eventually gave up. No one on the highway wanted to pull over, what ever happened to good Samaritans? You know what they say about London Buses? You wait for ages and 2 come along at once? Well the same happened with tow trucks. One pulled over, we thought it was ours but it was just another driver pulling over to check we were ok, but 5 minutes later our tow arrived. It was a brand new flat bed tow truck, very spiffy.
There was only one problem with the tow though... the cab wasn't big enough for all of us. June needed to sit in the air conditioning so she got the first seat, and Bonita went with her mum of course. So where were Josh and I to sit?
IN THE CAR ON THE BACK OF THE FLAT BED!
The driver was insane... I don't think he slowed down the entire way back. It was like a rollercoaster in the car on the back of the truck. The worst was taking the exit from the highway pretty fast. The g-force made us feel like we'd come flying off the back of the flatbed!
Anyway, we made it back safely... albeit rather shaken.
I don't recommend travelling on the back of a flat bed tow truck in a car, that's for damn sure.
Posted in Life at 20:59 |
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Movable Type 3.2 Is Coming!
And quite frankly I can't wait, and neither can any of the other millions of MT users. There are over 100 new features, improvements and bug fixes, and judging by the already announced features it looks amazing!
Six Apart have been giving us a taster of their 32 favourite new features, one a day, and every day it just gets better.
I am really looking forward to the public beta test they've just announced too.
Posted in Movable Type at 11:55 |
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Joy!
I just checked online to see if my suitcase has turned up yet... and IT HAS!! They're now delivering it to my home, so hopefully it'll be there waiting for me when I finish work. Then I can unpack and start a few loads of laundry.
*bounces around happily*
UPDATE: My case was delivered to home at 5:15pm. Unfortunately though somewhere along the way one of the plastic feet on the bottom has been ripped off so the case tilts to the side and almost falls over. Also the TSA had opened my case and searched it, I'm glad I had a TSA approved padlock so they didn't have to break it.
Posted in Life at 13:58 |
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Holiday Over :(
Well after 2 glorious weeks away, I'm back in the UK... without my suitcase. Somewhere along the way it got a bit lost. I reported it to my airline and I'm waiting to find out if it's getting delivered back to the UK or not. I think it's still in Philadelphia, where I connected.
*sigh*
I really need that case... I've got almost zero clothes left here! I need stuff to wear!!
*cries*
Posted in Life at 15:39 |
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